I always assumed I’d want two children — I grew up with a sister who I still text with daily as an adult, and I wanted my kiddo to experience that unique sibling bond. But through the sleep deprivation, childcare struggles, and general overwhelm during my firstborn’s early years, my husband and I both questioned if we were “one and done.”
We talked about everything from the future cost of schooling to the logistics of sorting out child care for two while we both pursued our busy careers. We fantasized about the ease of traveling with one child as opposed to two, especially since much of our extended family lives a plane ride away. During stressful moments, we’d glance at each other and one of us would mutter, “Can you imagine doing this with two?” While we’d both grown up assuming multiple children as a given, when staring down the reality of life, we found ourselves questioning that assumption more than either of us had ever imagined.
Across the What to Expect Community, moms are sharing their hesitations about having more children right now, while their families struggle to make ends meet, the political situation in the U.S. (and across the globe) feels turbulent, and the idea of having a village willing to help out is more of a pipe dream than a reality. Moms on social media are also screaming into the void that they need more support systems in place for their families — paid maternity leave, affordable child care, and accessible health care, to name a few.
But even people outside of Momtok are paying attention, thanks to the headlines about the falling birth rate. U.S. fertility rates hit an all-time low in 2024, with fewer than 1.6 children born per woman, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).[1] That number was approximately 1.9 children born per woman just a decade earlier.[2]
If you’re currently slumped on the couch, toggling between doomscrolling TikTok and swooning over all the adorable kid pics you’ve taken today, wondering if you really do want another baby — this article’s for you.
More kids? It’s a big decision — and a common dilemma
“How'd you decide you could handle adding another baby?” What to Expect Community mom moxiemc08 asks in the Trying to Conceive forum. “My husband agrees that our [two] kids bring us so much joy and that another would be great. However, he's struggling to see how we would juggle the needs of three kids and take care of ourselves (mentally and physically) so we can give the most to them. I don't want to do it and have him be resentful, but I also don't want to look back and say ‘what if we had?’”
Moxiemc08 isn’t the only one feeling the weight of the decision to have another baby. While a family of four used to be pretty much a given, less than half of moms with one small child now say they definitely want a second baby, according to a recent survey by What to Expect. More than a third of moms with one child say they are still deciding whether they want another child (35%), and about a fifth say they’ve decided they don’t want another child (18%). The indecision remains for moms with two small children: 42% say they’re in the process of deciding if they want another baby.
While parents face uncertainties about whether to have more than one child right now, most Americans still think the “ideal” family size is 2.7 children, according to a recent Gallup poll.[3] This number has held steady since 2018. So why the disparity from the 1.6 moms actually have?
For many, reality gets in the way. No parents have infinite hours in the day or dollars in their bank account. “People see that opportunity cost — what they have to give up in order to have children — is just not worth it for them,” says Jennifer Sciubbia, Ph.D., president and CEO of the Population Reference Bureau.
“I always wanted more than one child; however, the lack of support I received during my first child’s first year of life has led me to the decision to not have another,” shares one What to Expect Community mom.
The weight of the decision can feel really heavy
There can be a lot at stake when it comes to adding another child to your family. More than half of moms (51%) flag financial concerns (even apart from child care!) as the biggest factors making them less likely to have another child.
“I feel like financially it would be a struggle, and that's my biggest reason for not expanding my family immediately,” says one survey respondent. “With inflation, everything is way too expensive for me to comfortably raise my child.”
For 40% of parents, it’s the physical and emotional demands of parenting their current children that make them hesitant about adding another sibling to the household.
“These are things we don’t think about … all the work that it takes to be a parent,” says Julie Bindeman, Psy.D., a psychologist specializing in helping clients navigate life transitions. She says she hears from parents grappling with poor sleep, pressure to keep their house clean, and the mental toll of keeping track of doctors’ appointments, day care schedules, and weekend activities when deciding if they want to add to the family.
“People imagine a sweet, cuddly baby … and those moments occur, but there are a lot of other pieces to it as well,” she says. “People are being more honest about what parenthood looks like and feels like.”
For Ellen, a mother of one from Miami, deciding to remain “one and done” was a nuanced choice. She describes her first child as a “low sleep needs and high energy kid,” which, she says, made it more challenging to be a parent than expected. Ultimately, though, part of her wanted to provide her daughter with a sibling; still, she didn’t think she could continue to be the mother she wanted to be with another child.
Being able to access affordable child care is another factor that weighs heavily on parents — 38% name the high cost of child care as one of the biggest reasons they’re unsure if they want more kids.
“We’re considering our options to have a second, but that may mean one of us is not working to care for our kids,” says one What to Expect Community mom. “It’s expensive to put little ones in day care. It gets cheaper as they get older, of course, but I don’t want our kids too far apart and I don’t want to wait too long for myself, physically.”
Another says: “Day care is hard to find where I live, so I would have to be a stay-at-home mom for at least three years if I decided to have another.”
Parents are weighing their pros and cons, and still not easily reaching a decision. Everything from finances to emotional well-being becomes part of the debate, Bindeman says.
Sometimes love outweighs logic — and that’s okay, too
Even after talking through all the reasons not to have another baby, some couples still find themselves saying, “Let’s do it.” The biggest reason? More than two-thirds of moms (69%) say they want the joy and love of raising another child.
“I think what’s really shaped my reason for wanting to grow [my family] is because I love being a mom so much,” says one What to Expect Community mom. “I want to be surrounded with their little arms hugging around me because it’s the best feeling!”
Other common factors pulling parents toward having more kids: more than half of moms (54%) say they want to give their little one a sibling to grow up with, and nearly as many (53%) dream of a full house and a big family.
“I am excited to see my daughters (ages 4 and 6) be big sisters,” says one What to Expect Community mom who is pregnant with her third baby.
Another says: “I am pregnant with baby number six. My husband and I come from large families (six kids, 15 kids), and we loved growing up with a lot of siblings.”
A factor that barely sways mom’s decision to have another baby is potential government-provided benefits or tax breaks — only 6% of moms say these make them more likely to decide to have another baby.
“If your goal is to raise the fertility rate, it's not as simple as giving people more cash,” says Sciubba, of the Trump administration’s plan to roll out $1,000 baby bonuses for American children born by January 1, 2029. “It’s either typically not enough cash — it takes a lot of money to make people feel secure — or it only covers part of the reason why people are [hesitant].”
Since emotional factors are often at play, focusing on policies that make people feel supported or optimistic about the future may be more impactful, Sciubba says.
The decision can feel like a monumental one, but it’s yours to make
There’s no easy way through this decision, but one process that Bindeman says she often suggests to her patients is to envision what their life would look like in five years. Picture your family with another child (or more). Then picture your family as-is, if you don't have any more children.
She suggests reflecting on both what another child would add to your life and also what pressures it might bring. “How might that feel? How might you take that on? What do you feel like you might need?” Binderman asks parents to consider.
It also helps to disavow the idea that there will ever be the perfect time to add to your family, Bindeman says. While there’s no exact equation that will help you settle on the right path for you, your desire to have children has to outweigh your fears if you do decide that having another baby is the right decision.
Even if factors like finances or child care don’t quite make sense, it’s also okay to have children for the selfish reason of just wanting that for your family, she adds.
When my husband and I decided to move forward with having a second, we felt that the joys would likely outweigh any struggles we could face. Am I still scared? Of course. Now that I’m just a few weeks away from welcoming a little girl into my family, my stress dreams revolve around scenarios of my toddler desperately needing my attention while my newborn screams in the background. But that warm-fuzzy feeling I get when I think of multiplying the love I feel for my son outweighs the occasional stress-spiral that occurs when I think too hard about how my husband and I will manage it all. I like to remind myself that I figured it out the first time around, and I know I can do it again.
Ultimately, whatever decision you wind up making will be the right one for you. “Most of the time, barring really extenuating circumstances, you will adjust and adapt and make whatever is given to you work,” Bindeman says.
Methodology
The What to Expect Talk to Moms® Monthly Poll was conducted by Everyday Health Group – Pregnancy and Parenting on October 6, 2025. We surveyed 398 U.S. women aged 18 to 44 who have at least one child up to 5 years old.
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