Baby shower etiquette is flexible, but a few guidelines help. A close friend, family member, or coworker typically hosts and pays, though parents-to-be can host if needed. Invite anyone you’d like, keep the party about 2 hours, and consider a registry to guide gifts. Most important? Be a gracious guest and enjoy celebrating your little one.
When it comes to baby shower etiquette, there are very few hard-and-fast rules (besides the ones that govern good manners — like being gracious when you're opening gifts, no matter how impractical they are!).
Still, baby showers are such a tradition — that's how new parents can make a dent in the slew of stuff they'll need when the baby arrives, after all — that there are some guidelines to make it easier for the guest of honor (you) and the hosts to plan a memorable occasion.
Here are some tips to get the party started and help you feel more prepared.
Who hosts a baby shower?
Since the point of a baby shower is for your community to "shower" you with gifts, the person who hosts it is typically a close friend or family member. But coworkers or another loved one can also host the party.
While every baby shower is unique, the host usually takes care of organizing everything — so you can sit back and enjoy being celebrated.
Looking for more baby shower tips? The What to Expect app has tons of ideas for cute invitations, party games, adorable themes, and more to celebrate your wee one on the way.
Can you throw your own baby shower?
Yes, you can throw your own baby shower, though general shower etiquette dictates that the parents-to-be don't often throw it themselves since doing so could be perceived as asking for gifts. If you're worried that no one will offer to throw a baby shower for you, talk to a close friend or a relative and, if you're comfortable doing so, ask him or her to take the reins.
But again, there are no hard-and-fast rules — if no one is available or you simply prefer to host the event yourself, feel free to do so.
What to Expect Community parent mkl1014 is hosting her own event: "We are going to host a sprinkle to celebrate the baby but try to have it in a way where people don't feel obligated to bring anything. This is our second boy, so no real need for new clothes or decorations."
Who should be invited to a baby shower?
Anyone can be invited to your baby shower! This includes as few or as many of your grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbors, and coworkers as you'd like, as well as those of your partner. (Coed baby showers are growing increasingly popular!)
Try to keep in mind your host's budget and comfort level when discussing the guest list so things don't get out of hand.
Where should you host a baby shower?
As for where to host a baby shower, these fun parties are often held at someone's home, but other venue options include restaurants, country clubs, hotels, and event spaces. You can also host a baby shower outdoors in a park or at the beach. Pick a place where you can fully enjoy the event.
If your baby shower is virtual, be sure that wherever you join in from has a strong WiFi signal so you don't lose the call and miss out on any moments.
How long should a baby shower be?
The truth: How long a baby shower should be is pretty much up to you. If you consider all that might be included — a meal or light refreshments, games, and opening gifts — about two hours is a good guideline for in-person baby showers. You don't want to exhaust the expectant parent.
Virtual baby showers can be shorter, about a half hour to an hour, because Zoom fatigue can come on fast.
Who pays for a baby shower?
Most often, the host pays for the baby shower, though this is not always one person. For example, several aunts and cousins might cover the full tab of a shower at a restaurant, or a group of coworkers may help coordinate all the decorations, food, and fun.
What's expected of the parents-to-be at their baby shower?
As for what's expected of the parents-to-be at the baby shower, your main (and really only!) job is to be a gracious guest of honor and gift recipient. But you may want to give your host a break and pitch in with (or at least offer to) the following:
- Baby shower party favors. You don't have to offer these, but giving the guests a few small, inexpensive trinkets can be a nice thing to do. Some ideas include tasty treats (like chocolates or themed candy), pretty soap, or small potted plants.
- Refreshments. You don't want to be hungry at your own party, after all, so ask the host how you can help out with the food and drinks. If you're planning a more budget-friendly or casual party, you can suggest that each guest bring an appetizer or a dish to share.
Is it okay to have more than one baby shower?
Yes, it's definitely okay to have more than one baby shower! Friends, coworkers, and family are as excited about your new baby as you are, and chances are they want to shower you with gifts. Since it's up to others to throw the shower, you can have as many or as few as you like.
Plus, since your inner (and outer) circle might be scattered all over the place, having multiple showers in different areas might be more convenient for some of your guests. For instance, you might have one baby shower during the work day with coworkers, a special themed baby shower on the weekend with your relatives, and a larger, more relaxed shower at a park with friends.
What about baby showers for subsequent pregnancies? Baby sprinkles, or baby showers for second- and third-time parents, have become more common only recently, so if your friends, family, or coworkers want to throw showers for all your beautiful babes, why stop them? Keep in mind that it's particularly helpful to create a sprinkle registry, because depending on when you had the first child, you may not need a load of supplies — only a mountain of diapers!
Want to skip the gifts this time? Ask the friend throwing the party to indicate on the shower invitations that you want only the pleasure of their company.
Can I register for baby shower gifts?
Yes, you can register for baby shower gifts — so many moms-to-be do this nowadays. Creating a baby registry is a great way to identify the items you'll need before your little one arrives. While some guests like to do their own thing and go off-list (or make a DIY baby shower gift), many of your guests will likely appreciate the guidance and want to give you items that you need. Here are a few things to keep in mind when creating a registry:
- Pick a reasonably priced store. If your guests want to spend more money, they'll take the initiative to upgrade or get more than one item, but you don't want to put guests in the position of spending more than they're comfortable with. And for their convenience, aim for an online retailer or major chain store with an online registry so guests don't have to go out of their way to find a boutique baby shop.
- Request mostly modest gifts. Register for onesies, bibs, socks, blankets, and baby-care essentials, but you might opt to take care of the crib, car seat or other expensive baby gear yourself. Another option is to set big-ticket gear as a "group gift" on your online registry so guests can contribute as much or as little as they're comfortable spending.
- Notify the guests on the invitation. Create your baby registry before invitations are sent out, and ask the shower host to include a note that tells guests where you're registered.
When should you send baby shower thank-you notes?
Send your baby shower thank-you notes out in a timely manner, if you can. In fact, sooner rather than later is smart — you don't want to have the task hanging over you after your little one arrives!
While baby shower etiquette is not set in stone and you should always do what you are comfortable with, these tips can help you think through your options and feel more prepared for your shower. Hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy every minute while your loved ones celebrate you and baby.
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