Many parents find themselves so smitten with a first baby that they’re ready to repeat the experience immediately. Every adorable baby step into the second year makes them long to do infancy all over again and provide a playmate for their darling, who’s toddling headlong into the next stage.
If you’re one of these parents, here's the deal on the real benefits of having back-to-back babies (i.e., fewer than 18 months apart), as well as a few challenges to keep in mind.
Benefits of back-to-back babies
- You’re already so deep into the crazy-busy life of a new parent that you won’t undergo the shock of going from 0 to 60 like you did with your first.
- You’re already a pro at all things baby — from breastfeeding to soothing a tantrum away.
- Your children are more likely to share the same interests and play well together.
- You already have a lot of baby gear ready to be reused.
- You’ll get the chaos of the early years over in one fell swoop (unless, of course, you go on to baby three!).
- Your children will learn from each other and may become fast friends because they’re close playmates.
- You’re more likely to get pregnant now if you’re in your late 30s or beyond (and worried about fertility) than if you wait.
- Pulling double-diaper duty can be super efficient (and what could be cuter than two tots in a tub?).
If you’re thinking about growing your family, download the What to Expect app for expert tips, trusted advice, and loads of support from others with “two under 2.”
Drawbacks to back-to-back babies
- It’s physically taxing to care for two little ones, especially if you’re suffering from a sleep deficit.
- Sibling squabbles tend to escalate when kids are close in age.
- You may need duplicates of big-ticket gear like strollers or cribs. Breastfeeding two can be challenging, if you intend to nurse into toddlerhood.
- It can be doubly challenging to find time for yourself and your partner.
- You may feel you miss out on savoring certain milestones because your days have been a whirlwind.
- You may have to make extra efforts to see your children as individuals as they grow older.
Keep in mind that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends waiting at least 6 months and ideally 18 months after giving birth (especially if you've had a C-section) to reduce the risks of complications in your next pregnancy.[1] Too little time between pregnancies can increase the risk of preterm birth and low birthweight-babies, according to the March of Dimes.[2]
What to Expect Community parent samb11 had her second when her first was 20 months and offers some sound advice: “It'll be tough for both you and your older baby, so give yourself and her some grace. It does get easier after like 6 to 8 months. It’s just a short season when it’s tough, but you’ll get through it.”
How you choose to weigh these pros and cons is a completely personal decision, and you should speak with your OB/GYN about your unique circumstances and what would be safest for you. Considerations that might influence how you feel about these issues include:
- Your and your partner’s own birth orders
- The nature of your pregnancy and childbirth experience (Was it easy? Or were you left feeling a little battered?)
- Your current finances and jobs
- The availability of child care
Some parents choose to let the fates decide and allow back-to-back babies to happen … or not. And for others, well, accidents do happen.
But here’s the truth about spacing children: No matter how you time your second child, you’ll figure out how to make it work.
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