Around my son’s first birthday, we did the classic cake smash and took a million photos. I also began to wonder if there was anything we could do this year that could become a birthday tradition as he grows up.
“Starting a birthday tradition at your child’s first birthday can be a meaningful way to build connections and establish a sense of belonging from an early age,” says Francyne Zeltser, Psy.D., a psychologist who practices in New York City.
“As children grow, especially during the more challenging phases of development when they begin asserting independence and separating from their parents, traditions can serve as a grounding force," she adds. "Even as other dynamics change, a familiar birthday ritual or family tradition remains something they look forward to and enjoy, preserving a sense of connection."
As we now near my son’s second birthday, I turned to the experts — my most creative mom friends and parents in the What to Expect Community — to see how they made their babies feel extra special year after year, and the ideas are adorable.
Have a photoshoot in the same spot each year
“The night before my son's birthday, I sit in our recliner chair with him in my lap and take a picture (well actually a video and then just screenshot pictures) so I have a picture of his last night as a baby, his last night as a one year old, last night as a two year old etc. It’s so fun to look back on years later, with us in the same spot, and see how much he’s grown.” — Regloden
Take them to make their own birthday plate
“Before her 2nd birthday, I took my daughter to Color Me Mine to make a birthday plate. We serve breakfast off of it every year, and she gets so excited when we bring it out — she knows it’s her special birthday plate!” — Allison D., California.
Put pen to paper.
“We write a letter to our baby each year on their birthday. Planning to give them all the letters when they turn 18.” — Motheringmama1
Visit your local Build-A-Bear
“We always go to Build-A-Bear. They only pay their age for a bear. It’s a great tradition for us.” — FTM2023xoo. Fun fact, too: there's a special Birthday Treat Bear that's available when it's in stock.
Buy a pair of “birthday pajamas”
“Like many families, we did matching family holiday pajamas during our first holiday season with a baby. Once her birthday was coming near, I saw some birthday-themed pajamas and loved them…. Once her second birthday rolled around, I found another pattern and decided this would be ‘our thing’ each year for birthdays! My daughter (now 4) truly appreciates all the fun pajamas she has, and the past few years has loved getting her birthday pajamas on the eve of her birthday….Now she has a younger brother (almost 2) who has joined the tradition, too! — amandahurlbut
Bring out all the birthday accessories
“For my daughter, we have a wooden celebration ring with spots for each year's candle that we bring out the night before, and for each year, we light a candle, blow it out, and share a memory from that year of her life. It’s nice when we have family to hear their memories too. We also have a birthday crown and cape she wears every year.” — Hazelthenut
Create videos each year to share favorite memories
“My husband and I plan to record a video wishing our daughter a happy birthday and sharing a favorite memory we have with her over the past year. Eventually, we’ll compile the videos and share them with her on her 18th birthday! It was loosely inspired by a friend whose family makes video recaps of their year each year. We loved making our first video for her. It definitely felt emotional thinking of her growing up, but it’s a nice way to highlight her year and what we felt was special.” — Alyna M., Connecticut.
Host an annual tea party
“I have three girls. For their first birthday, their present is a nice china tea set. Every year on their birthday (or the weekend closest), we have a fancy tea party with their China set. We dress in nice dresses and shoes, and get all dolled up.” — eKs-1
Start building a custom vinyl collection
“We've started a tradition in our music-loving family, where we always have something playing. I really liked the idea of adding a note to a vinyl record that held meaning from the year leading up to her birthday. The note includes milestones from that year, and I even chose the font color based on her favorite color for that specific year. We plan to get her own record player down the road when she is older, and a space for her special vinyls.” — Amberlyn17
Make a custom birthday shirt
“Every year, I buy my son a custom birthday shirt. I plan to make a blanket of them when he’s older. We also go to In-N-Out every year for dinner on his birthday because it’s his favorite (he’s 3 now)." — Ftm2722
Give your baby a flower (and add to the arrangement over the years)
“We are going to do one rose per age. So when she is 5 she will get 5 roses, when she is 10 she will get 10 roses, and so on.” — AliceAmy6
How to start a new first birthday tradition for your family
I'm excited to start creating a vinyl collection this year with my son. And if you're ready to start something special with your little one, too, here are some tips to help you pull off a tradition you and your family with cherish for years to come:
Don’t overthink (or overdo) it. “Starting traditions as new parents can seem so daunting and carry so much pressure! My best advice is to keep it simple and attainable,” @amandahurlbut says. “Don’t try to create traditions that take too much out of you or set up too many expectations on you, or your kids!”
Consider an idea you can adapt over time. Baby’s interests will change, so why not choose a tradition that’s more flexible? “What matters most is that the tradition feels personal and is something your family looks forward to,” Zeltser says. “For example, a tradition of doing something adventurous for a birthday might look different at different stages of life, maybe a short walk with toddlers turns into a zipline course with teens, and then a peaceful hike in adulthood.”
Don’t overspend. You shouldn’t feel like showing your little one love is going to make a dent in your wallet. “The most meaningful traditions are often simple experiences that feel unique and special to your family,” Zeltser says. “It could be something as small as having a particular flavor of ice cream each year on your birthday, baking a specific cake together, snapping a silly photo in the same spot, or sharing a family story that gets retold each year.”
Get baby’s older siblings involved. Mom Allison D. says you can include your older child or children in the tradition by encouraging them to participate in the prep work. For instance, ask them to help decorate a birthday waffle for their special breakfast plate or take them to the store to pick out decorations.
Don’t be too rigid about your traditions. “Life changes, and your traditions can evolve with it,” Zeltser says. “Traditions should continue to reflect who you are as a family and bring you joy and connection. Those shared moments, however small, can become some of your child’s most cherished memories.”
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