A rainbow pregnancy can bring hope and excitement after the pain of loss, but it may also come with fear, anxiety, and grief. For many parents, carrying a new baby means navigating complex emotions while honoring the child they lost and finding support throughout the journey.
What is a rainbow baby?
A rainbow baby is the term coined for a baby born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, medical loss, or infant loss from natural causes.[1]
"The term symbolizes a healing and optimistic light for the parents after a traumatic experience," explains Shannon Smith, M.D., a board-certified OB/GYN and partner at Brigham Faulkner OB/GYN Associates in Boston, Massachusetts, and a member of the What to Expect Medical Review Board.
A rainbow pregnancy is often fraught with complex emotions, including fear, relief, and even guilt.[2]
"After a pregnancy loss, many patients have mixed emotions when they get pregnant again," says Jennifer Wu, M.D., F.A.C.O.G., a board-certified OB/GYN, founder of Women's Health of Manhattan in New York City, and a member of the What to Expect Medical Review Board. "Depending on the reasons for their previous loss, patients may also have extreme anxiety until they surpass that gestational age [when their loss occurred]."
"When I first found out about being pregnant again after losing three babies, I had no hope," says What to Expect Community mom MarWink11. "I was miserable and depressed, feeling like I knew what was coming next. Yet here I am still going strong (at 18 weeks) and so is little man."
Why the rainbow symbol?
Rainbows have long been a symbol of light and beauty after a storm. They can symbolize hope, healing, and renewal. Rainbows are also a symbol of diverse communities coming together to foster connection, progress, and unity.
While miscarriage and other types of pregnancy losses are fairly common, parents who have lost a baby often feel alone in their grief. The rainbow baby movement helps connect parents with others who understand what they're going through. The support and compassion of others can make it easier to navigate the range of emotions that can come with a rainbow pregnancy.
Rainbows — expressed as words, emojis, and other imagery — are often found in Facebook groups, on baby products, in birth announcements, and on community boards for parents of rainbow babies. They're a symbol for the nervous excitement that parents who have experienced loss may feel during a later pregnancy, while also providing a shorthand for sharing stories, support, and understanding.
How can I honor my pregnancy loss and a rainbow baby?
If you've experienced a pregnancy or baby loss, experts say it's important to honor your grief and share your mixture of joy and fear when you get pregnant again. "The first thing women can do to honor the loss is to recognize that their feelings of sadness and grief are legitimate," Dr. Smith says. "It's healthy to embrace that feeling and mourn your loss."
Studies find that grief after pregnancy loss is no less intense than that experienced after other losses and may be felt even longer. Don't pressure yourself to recover alone or just "get over it." Taking care of yourself and giving yourself time to heal is crucial. Women who experience perinatal losses are at higher risk of postpartum depression, postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), postpartum anxiety, sleeping disorders, and other mental health issues.
Moreover, pregnancy loss — especially loss that takes place at an early stage — can be excruciatingly isolating. Some moms say their loss wasn't fully acknowledged by family and friends, while others say they would have liked to have had a funeral for their deceased baby, but weren't given the chance.
"Even after a very early pregnancy loss, the interruption of that person's hopes for the future has implications on pregnancies that follow," says Rebecca Amaru, M.D., a board-certified OB/GYN with Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City and a member of the What to Expect Medical Review Board.
Society offers few outlets for parents to express their emotions and honor their pregnancy losses. Actively seek support from your partner if you have one, and from family and friends. And don’t be shy about asking your doctor for a referral to a mental health professional or counselor who can help you navigate this difficult time. "Do not grieve alone," says Dr. Smith.
Expect to feel a whole range of emotions, including fear, worry, renewed grief, guilt, joy, and relief, when you get pregnant with a rainbow baby after a loss. All those feelings are completely normal. "It can be hard to make space for the excitement and joy of early pregnancy with the lingering anxiety left by the previous pregnancy loss," says Dr. Amaru.
"This is my rainbow after three losses. The first trimester I was so reserved I scared myself until I saw him and heard his heartbeat," says Community mom MOmOfBOys13, at 30+ weeks.
Another Community mom, jml256, says, "I have to keep telling myself that this baby is healthy until someone on my medical team tells me otherwise. It helps ease my mind momentarily. It's so hard not to spiral when you have a history of loss."
You don't have to navigate your complicated feelings alone. In addition to talking with family and friends in your inner circle, consider reaching out to others who have had rainbow pregnancies and babies.
"Increasingly, women are sharing their stories of pregnancy loss more," Dr. Amaru adds. "It's a huge help, because it allows women to see their stories reflected in other women's stories."
Real parent stories about rainbow babies
While it's impossible to ever fully recover from the loss of a child, those who have experienced it often seek and share advice and encouragement online. Here are some real mom stories about grieving angels, trying for a rainbow pregnancy, and hoping for a rainbow baby:
"I previously had a loss at 13 weeks that was a missed miscarriage. I chose to get a D&C to start my healing. I went on after to have a healthy baby boy whom I got pregnant with two months after my missed miscarriage. That pregnancy was rough; I couldn’t enjoy it because I was so afraid of losing him. I waited a long time to try again and just had my second baby boy in November. The first 20 weeks, I had the same anxiety of losing him, which didn’t really allow me to enjoy this pregnancy, either. This board was so helpful for me after I lost my first and I loved seeing stories of people that turned out positive later, so I thought I would pop in and share. I’m so sorry for all of your losses and I hope you all get your rainbow babies soon." — ashbee275
"I [got] pregnant with our rainbow [baby], after my second son was stillborn at 36 weeks. We had our anatomy scan and did genetic testing, baby [was] healthy. Here’s the thing ... I fear people forgetting our angel. Our rainbow [was] due five days before our angel's first birthday." — LauraSawrie
"I miscarried twice ... both in the first trimester. I got pregnant the second time about three months after the first miscarriage and was taking birth control pill both times. I got an IUD soon after the second, since I knew I couldn't handle a third loss at that time. I had my IUD removed since it was time, began a new relationship, and got pregnant ... I [got pregnant] with my rainbow and everything is going perfectly so far. ... I was beginning to think I'd never get to be a mom." — 1inchllama
"I had a miscarriage. I was only 3-4 weeks pregnant at the time, but it was the worst time of my life. I didn't tell anyone but my husband, who never wanted to talk about it again. I felt alone and sad all the time ... My doc said to wait three months, so I did. We started trying again [and I got] pregnant with a little girl." — sweetpea7731
"The very first time getting pregnant in life, I suffered an ectopic pregnancy. Luckily, my tube was saved. After I had two early miscarriages (talk about grief), I was like, why me? But this past October, I was blessed with my rainbow baby girl! The interesting thing is I had absolutely no problems in the pregnancy, and she's a super happy, healthy [little girl]." — SunRae89
"I found out we were pregnant with our first baby. We were over-the-moon excited. Throughout my pregnancy, baby had a strong heartbeat and was completely healthy. Unfortunately, two days before I was to be induced, it was determined our sweet baby no longer had a heartbeat and had passed. My heart broke completely. 24 hours later, I delivered him naturally and it was immediately determined that he passed because of a cord accident. There was a huge knot that had tightened and his cord was wrapped around his foot ... Fast forward ... I felt so tired, like hit-by-a-train tired ... I was going to wait ... to test, but something inside me [told me] to test now. The second line came up almost immediately. I [was] in shock and so excited and overwhelmed. So many emotions, but excited for our little rainbow baby." — juchwife14
"We lost our boy at 26 weeks. It was devastating, to say the least. We still miss him every day. But God came and blessed us again just one month after. I [got] pregnant with a very healthy, very lively baby girl!" — MaurisaLee
Connect with other rainbow baby moms and track your pregnancy on our free What to Expect app.
When should I announce our rainbow baby pregnancy?
When and how you announce your pregnancy is always up to you. Some parents of rainbow babies prefer to hold off until they're into their second trimester, just to keep all those emails, texts, calls, and congratulatory notes at bay until the rainbow baby is in a safe and healthy place, while others can't wait to share the good news right away.
"Parents are often more cautious about announcing a new pregnancy after a loss," says Dr. Wu. That's completely understandable: After all, you may have shared the news of the baby you lost — and then had to explain the heartbreaking reality to everyone later.
"I was nervous to share the pregnancy," says Community mom CChamps. "I was nervous to start buying things. Now I'm still nervous to set up the nursery. I wish I could be confident that things are okay and that I could just relax and enjoy something that I waited so long for."
You can also start off by announcing the news to your inner circle first. "Patients may want to consider telling close family and friends in order to get emotional and physical support," says Dr. Wu. The reassurance that those you care for most are behind you can bolster your strength to spread your announcement to others.
"I mentioned our struggle in our announcement," says Community mom kklim8. "Personally, I found comfort in reading other people's stories realizing that I wasn't alone. If sharing my story could give someone else that same sentiment, then I was all for it. I've already had friends reach out regarding their struggles."
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