You’re pregnant, you feel pregnant, but you definitely don’t look pregnant. Instead of a cute bump, you’ve got a belly that’s more “Did I eat too much?” than “There’s a baby in there.” If you’re already in your fourth month and wondering why your jeans won’t zip, but you still don’t look pregnant, take heart. This awkward, in-between stage is incredibly common, completely normal — and very temporary.
Oh, I hear you. In fact, most moms hear you. There’s nothing fun about feeling pregnant but not looking pregnant. Having all the symptoms (that nagging nausea, that heartburn, that fatigue) but none of the show. Enough belly so you can’t zip your jeans, not enough belly to claim a bump — or to justify graduating to maternity jeans.
Not to worry. This awkward, neither-here-nor-there, betwixt-and-between-sizes stage of pregnancy won’t last. Pretty soon, you’ll have a belly you can own — and blame on something besides breakfast ... or bloat. That you can wear proudly in those clingy sweaters and baby tees, without feeling that reflexive urge to “suck in” (not that you could or should).
Read what first-time moms think when they start to show.
But just how soon will your baby bump show? Some moms sport a hint of a bump by the end of the first trimester (though that’s typically the gas and sluggish bowels talking). Others have little to show for the weeks they’ve racked up until well into their third trimester. Precisely when you will pop depends on a lot of factors, including:
Your size
On the taller side, or broader side? You may show later than a mom who’s small and narrow, since you have more space to grow into. Of course, that’s just a generality, not a rule — one size definitely does not fit all.
“I am tall and already had a large stomach (PCOS),” says What to Expect Community mom doornbrne. “I am 26 weeks. None of my coworkers even know I’m pregnant because it just looks like I gained a few pounds after the holidays.”
“I’m very skinny and my middle school students knew by 9 weeks even [when I was] wearing loose fitting clothing,” says What to Expect Community mom SpEdTeachMama. “I ended up being all belly!”
Keep track of how your baby’s developing with our What to Expect app.
Your mom status
First-time moms tend to show later than second- and third- (and more) time moms. And reasonably so. After all, a veteran mom’s uterine muscles (a different set than her abdominal muscles) have already stretched to accommodate a growing baby (they’ve been lived in, literally).
Even if she has managed to crunch her core and work her abs back into toned tautness after previous pregnancies, she will likely (but not definitely) “pop” sooner subsequently than a newbie.
“It’s earlier each pregnancy for me,” says What to Expect Community mom doodelbug07. “I think 12 weeks with my first, 9 weeks with my second, and this time I’m already doing the hair tie trick on my jeans at 8 weeks.”
Your mom
Yes, your genes can affect how long your jeans will fit, if not zip. Was your mom a late show the first time? You may be more likely to take your time producing a baby bump (size, skin tone, and other genetic factors can contribute).
“My mum didn’t really show on her first two pregnancies until very late either, so we just joke that we genetically have very strong abs,” says What to Expect Community member IrelandSTM, who says you couldn’t tell she was pregnant when she was wearing her usual clothes until 33 to 35 weeks.
Your weight gain ... maybe
Sometimes a speedy weight gain can amount to a bigger belly faster, sometimes it doesn’t. Pregnancy weight goes (appropriately) to other parts of your body, usually before it makes a beeline for your bump.
Fat, especially if you don’t have much to start with, has to be laid down for baby-making and for breastfeeding (your body is planning ahead). Plus, those (perhaps) already plus-size breasts also contribute to your weight gain bottom line. It’s not until much later in pregnancy that your now teeny-tiny baby adds much in the way of weight.
Here’s what bumps — when they pop, how big they ultimately become — don’t correlate to: your baby’s growth. As I always say, you can’t tell a baby by its cover. What’s inside is what matters, and that’s something you definitely can’t tell from the outside. Only your doctor, midwife, or ultrasound tech can assess your baby’s growth, and even that’s just an educated guess.
“I would get self-conscious because people kept saying things like, ‘Oh, you’re so small’ or ‘you don’t even look that pregnant,” says What to Expect Community member Canadian-mama86. “I just had to remind myself that everyone is different.”
In other words, size matters, but not when it comes to bumps. Every mom, every pregnancy, every belly, and definitely every baby that follows, is different. Your time to show will come. In the meantime, try to embrace your one-of-a-kind bump ... and the beautiful little one-of-a-kind human you’re growing inside it.
Hugs,
Heidi
Help Me, Heidi! is a weekly advice column in which What to Expect creator Heidi Murkoff answers your most pressing pregnancy and parenting questions. She’s tackling the stuff you are desperate to know right now — so if you have a question, ask Heidi on Facebook and she might answer in an upcoming column. (Not sure if she's answered your question yet? Check out the full list of columns here.)
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