Real talk here, ladies: It isn’t all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorn-emblazoned onesies when you first find out you’re pregnant.
In addition to the strange physical symptoms you may start experiencing shortly after you get pregnant, there are some seriously bizarre emotions that may follow. And contrary to how anyone makes you feel, it's all perfectly okay.
Whether you had a long road trying to conceive or found yourself unexpectedly expecting, the feelings that accompany a positive pregnancy test may not be what you envisioned — maybe because they’re not always talked about.
Here are seven things no one tells you about finding out you’re pregnant.
1. You feel crampy
For many women, one of the first tell-tale signs of pregnancy is cramping. Ironically, this often happens early on, shortly after your missed period, so it can really throw you for a loop.[1]
For a lot of women, feeling cramps at the start of pregnancy can be scary.
"My cramps weren’t super painful, but they definitely were scary," says What to Expect Community user tycooksey. "I thought something was wrong, but apparently it’s normal."
For others, cramps were the symptom that made them wonder if they were pregnant.
"I feel really normal — except for some spotting and cramps. The cramps are actually what led me to take a pregnancy test in the first place," says What to Expect Community user iheartcindy. "The positive tests were hard to believe, because I don’t feel very pregnant!"
2. You might be afraid
Despite the fact that societal pressure can sometimes make women feel guilty if they feel anything but Pure! Joy! when they get pregnant, feeling scared is totally normal — and there are a variety of reasons why.
"I wasn’t expecting to be more terrified than excited when I found out I was pregnant, even though we were actively trying," says What to Expect Community parent mamacoco. "My gut reaction, after having been diagnosed with PCOS, was: 'That was too easy, it probably isn’t going to stick.' I spent those first weeks looking for blood every single time I went to the bathroom and agonizing over every twinge."
What to Expect Community member Kmcef had a similar reaction, but for different reasons.
"I immediately felt anxiety and worry when I found out I was pregnant," she says. "I was expecting the happiness to outweigh the fear, but I guess conflicting emotions are just part of life as a mom."
3. You might not know how you feel
For women who find themselves pregnant shortly after a loss, the emotions can be extra complicated.
"I had a rollercoaster of emotions when I found out I was expecting," What to Expect Community user lwhit011 reveals. "I had just had my fourth miscarriage less than two months earlier. I was still grieving the loss of my baby, the first to ever have a confirmed heartbeat.
"I was in shock. I went home and cried my eyes out, grieving my loss all over again. I think it was the most I let myself grieve since our first miscarriage. But after that day, I was able to focus on my current pregnancy and take care of myself."
What to Expect Community mom Shauna2086 found herself in a similar situation.
"I feel scared," she says. "We had a loss recently, and when the two pink lines showed up so quickly this time, I cried. Not those happy, excited tears. The fear tears. I know I’m not prepared for another loss. Everyday that passes, I start to slowly let myself believe the lines."
4. Your first prenatal appointment may not be for a couple of months
Save for some cramping and possibly morning sickness, you don’t always feel pregnant when you first find out you’re expecting — and it can make a mom-to-be a little impatient for the "fun" things like telling friends, going to the doctor, and having an adorable baby bump.[2]
In fact, that first prenatal appointment feels very far away to some eager moms-to-be, since it may not happen until eight or 10 weeks into the pregnancy (though some women go when they're 6 weeks pregnant).[3]
"I was surprised at how long it took for my first doctor’s appointment after finding out I was pregnant," says What to Expect Community user inkedmom252. "Eight to 10 weeks before seeing your doctor or getting your first ultrasound!! What?!"
What to Expect Community parent JenP1986 agrees: "I can’t believe how long you have to wait for your first appointment! My anxiety is driving me nuts! All I do is wonder if everything is going [okay] in there!"
5. You start Googling
Ah, Google. There really isn’t a situation in life that doesn’t call for it, but the searching kicks into overdrive for most moms when they find out they’re pregnant.
"My Google searches immediately changed when I found out I was expecting," notes What to Expect Community user CourtneyJudy. "And drastically!"
That said, keep in mind that there is such a thing as too much Googling — especially when you’re pregnant.
Have more questions about your pregnancy symptoms and want to track them? Open the What to Expect app for a week-by-week guide to your pregnancy, including the symptoms you may experience at every stage.
6. Early pregnancy symptoms aren’t fun
Unfortunately, women aren’t immediately blessed with glowing skin, glossy hair, and a cute little baby bump when they first get pregnant — and until some of the more pleasant things about expecting kick in, it can be a heck of a road.
For some, like What to Expect Community user erica.chavie, an early pregnancy symptom is feeling "hot all the time," while others wind up incredibly bloated.
"No one tells you how much you’ll end up bloating!" says What to Expect Community user mrsp-123. "I’m not even seven weeks along and look like I’ve entered my second trimester!"
Some women get hit with the gift of an ultra-sensitive sniffer right away.
"My sense of smell was like a superpower shortly after I found out I was pregnant," reveals What to Expect Community member TessiesBB.
7. You’re exhausted
No ... exhausted. You may have heard just how tired pregnant women can feel, but when you experience it firsthand, it may be like nothing you've ever felt before.
"I’m surprised by the absolute exhaustion I feel right now," says What to Expect Community user caramhovan. "Actually, one of my first little signs of hope of being pregnant was that I didn’t get a huge surge of energy a day or two before my period, like I normally do. I’m only five weeks, but good heavens am I in a constant state of sleepiness!"
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