If your due date isn’t that far off, I think I know how you’re feeling right now. If there ever were a time for a mix of emotions, now certainly is it. You’re probably excited, anxious, tired, and a bazillion other things all at once, right? That’s totally normal.
No woman could ever go into labor 100% prepared for what’s going to happen. But here are a few things I wish someone had told me before the birth of my first child. Hopefully, it will help you leading up to the big day.
1. You can do it.
Before we get down to the nitty-gritty, I’d like to start by reassuring you. You’ve got this. Seriously. You may be nervous and you may have heard different stories from friends — and friends of friends — but keep in mind that women have been doing this since the dawn of time, and the work you put in will be so worth it for what you will gain.
2. Prepare — but don’t over-prepare.
Although it certainly doesn't hurt to make a birth plan (and it might help you feel more prepared and empowered), there’s approximately a 1% chance that your birth is going to go exactly as planned. Just like everything in life, things come up and you may find yourself having to make decisions you never even considered. That’s what makes everyone’s experience unique.
“My birth did not go according to plan, but I have absolutely no regrets,’” says What to Expect Community mom Emilysy7165.
Of course, you don’t want to waltz into the maternity ward without the faintest idea of what’s about to happen, but you want to be flexible with your vision.
With my first, I brought a strict birth plan with me to the hospital. You know how much of it I stuck to? Basically none.
With my second, I went in with an “anything can happen” attitude, and it was a much more pleasant experience. I was left with zero feelings of guilt that I deviated from a specific plan.
3. You’re probably not going to give birth in the car on the way to the hospital.
Despite what you’ve seen in the movies, it’s unlikely that you'll have the baby on the way. In fact, especially if it’s your first pregnancy, you may find yourself hanging out at home for a while. You'll probably be trying to find ways to kill time while you’re in early labor before your contractions get more frequent and intense and it’s time to head to the hospital. (Of course, always call your practitioner if you notice signs of labor, and they can have you come in if there's any uncertainty.)
4. But on that note, you might get sent home.
It’s not uncommon for a mom — particularly a first-time mom — to get sent home after arriving at the hospital ready to give birth. Despite the fact that your contractions, which often feel like intense menstrual cramps, may be getting stronger, you still may have a ways to go if there haven’t been any changes in your cervix.
5. Stop worrying about pooping!
Of all the things you haven’t heard about labor, you’ve probably heard about this: pooping. When you’re in labor, you may feel like you have to poop (and yes, you may) for a very simple reason: The same muscles you engage when you're going number two are the ones you use for pushing. That, coupled with the fact that there’s extra pressure on your rectum while your baby moves through your birth canal, is the perfect (poop) storm.
Most women are worried about pooping during labor, but ask any mom and she'll tell you: They didn’t care anymore once they were pushing. Seriously, it will be the furthest thing from your mind (and your doctor’s) during labor. “No shame in the game. They clean it up so fast, you hardly even notice it,” recalls What to Expect Community mom mod2023.
6. You might want your partner to leave you alone.
No matter how lovey-dovey you and your partner were during your pregnancy, active and transitional labor is no joke. During your contractions, you may feel sick, sweaty, tired, or just annoyed — and you may not want to be touched.
“My husband was so prepared with those massage techniques he had learned at the birthing course. But I ended up not wanting any massages. I screamed at him when he touched me,” recalls What to Expect Community mom SandSlove.
Do whatever feels right for you in the moment, and trust that your partner will understand.
7. There will be quite a few people in and out of the room.
During all phases of your labor and especially when you’re pushing, there will be seemingly random people in and out of the room. Typically, there are a few nurses per delivery, and the doctor, if they're on shift, will come in at the end to deliver the baby.
It’s probably not a bad idea to talk to your doctor about how they handle deliveries during one of your prenatal appointments, since there’s a chance they may not be there on your big day (with another doctor taking their place). It’s better to learn that beforehand than be disappointed.
8. You give “birth” twice.
After you deliver your baby, you’re technically not done. You still have your placenta to deliver. Typically, the placenta, the organ that gave your baby oxygen and nutrients during your pregnancy, is delivered within a few minutes of giving birth — and don’t worry, it usually doesn’t hurt!
9. It will be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
There’s a reason every woman feels somewhat shocked and like nobody warned her about anything after she gives birth. It's unlike anything you will have experienced before (in the best way possible), and you will be a better person for it. Plus, you get your baby in the end. Is there anything better than that?
Just remember: Your body was designed to accomplish so many amazing things, including giving birth to a baby. So try not to worry too much. You’ll learn that you are way stronger than you ever thought.
Stay confident and prepared in these final weeks — and be sure to tap into the What to Expect app for expert-backed guidance and support from parents who get what you're going through.
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