Unlike our friends in the animal kingdom, the how-to's of baby care don't always come naturally to us. A first-time mother dog knows precisely how to lick her pups clean, while we first-time human moms struggle with those early baths (and we get to use a washcloth!).

But while we need a little help (and a lot of baby books) to help us figure out how to care for our young, what does come naturally to us is the instinct to care about them (and just the fact that you're already worrying is a sign that this important instinct has already kicked in).

summary icon
Key Takeaways
  • Your parenting instinct is already there, even if the "how-to" stuff isn't. You may not know how to bathe a newborn or change a blowout diaper yet, but the fact that you're already worrying about doing a good job shows your built-in urge to love and protect your baby is fully switched on.
  • Feeling nervous about being a mom is completely normal. Almost every parent-to-be worries they won't be able to handle it all, but with each feed, diaper change, and late-night cuddle, those skills start to click and mothering begins to feel like second nature.
  • You can absolutely "study" for motherhood and make the learning curve easier. Reading up on baby care, spending time with friends' babies, or taking a class can boost your confidence so you're not learning everything on the fly once your little one arrives.

Even if you were never the type to fawn over friends' newborns, melt at the sight of miniature T-shirts in the layette department, or coo at every passing stroller — and even if you were voted least likely to strap on a baby sling (ever) — once you give birth to that precious little bundle, you'll be surprised how quickly you start feeling like a parent. And how quickly you start fawning, melting, and cooing with the best of them.

That said, the trepidation you're feeling now — especially when your baby is still doing somersaults in your womb instead of being cradled in your arms — is completely normal. So normal, in fact, it's shared by just about every mom (even those veteran ones) at some point in pregnancy.

"I know this is easier said than done, but I always try to focus on how far I've made it than how much I have to go," suggests What to Expect Community mom ashleyo2014.

Will you be able to handle it all? Realistically, it may take a while to get those how-to's honed (wash eyes from center to side, wipe bottoms from front to back, save shampoo for last … and repeat).

Get step-by-step baby care guidance, expert tips, and real-mom support by downloading the What to Expect app.

As for freaking out? It's not totally out of the question in those first few weeks (when the stove's boiling over, the phone's ringing, there's a delivery at the door, and you just realized that (a) your baby just had a major diaper blowout and (b) you're out of diapers). But before you know it, mothering will indeed become second nature.

Meanwhile, get as far ahead of the game as you can — before the game has even begun. Read up on baby care (I know a book you might like: It's called What to Expect the First Year!), spend time with friends who have babies (and ask for some practice sessions), or take a class, if you can. The more you know, the less you'll have to learn on the job!

Wishing you a lifetime of happy mothering!


Heidi Murkoff