Potty training can stir up big emotions in both parents and kids. There’s the excitement of ditching diapers for big-kid underwear and the sense of accomplishment in achieving a big milestone.
But a change this big can feel scary for toddlers, and as parents, you may worry about choosing the right training method and if your toddler is actually as ready as you’d hoped.
Even with plenty of patience and preparation, potty-training isn’t an easy process.
“Potty learning can put a lot of pressure on families, and there’s so much information out there that it’s easy to go down rabbit holes,” says Quiara Smith, O.T.D., a pediatric occupational therapist and pelvic-floor specialist, who is also a mom. “Every child is unique. But giving yourself grace and leading with curiosity will help you figure out how to support the child you have in front of you.”
To help you start your own journey, moms share the approach that worked for them, what surprised them, and the advice they wish they had known sooner.
Choosing a potty method is often one of the hardest parts. Moms say the best thing to do is choose a method that works for your family's schedule. Pick a time that's convenient for your family. Three-day weekends or extended breaks can be great times to start the process. And remember that every child potty trains on their own timeline. Some kids are potty trained in three days, while others take four to six months — and both are completely normal.
What moms wish they knew about choosing a method
Scroll social media long enough, and it can start to feel like there’s one “right” way to potty train. In reality, parents are choosing (and often mixing) methods based on their schedules, parenting styles, and their child’s personality. And there’s really no one-size-fits-all strategy. In fact, the methods that worked among What to Expect moms are pretty split: naked time (23%), elimination communication (taking their child's cues) (21%), and a diaper-free long weekend (20%) are all methods that moms love.
The most universal piece of wisdom? Waiting until the child shows interest. “Pressuring a child to potty train when they are not ready can backfire,” says Diana Pontell, M.D., a board-certified general pediatrician in Nashville. “Pushing them before they’re ready can lead to negative associations with potty training and increased parent-child conflict.”
To find the right method for your child and family, here's what moms say to is important to remember:
Pick a method that's convenient for everyone
“I appreciated that the Oh Crap method was done over a short period of time. My husband’s schedule isn’t as flexible as mine, so this meant we both could be a part of this process, versus it mostly falling on me as the default parent.”
— Leanne, 39, Maryland, mom of one, age 5
Tip: Consider how much time you want to commit and who will be providing the hands-on physical and emotional support for your child throughout the process. “Kids need consistency and presence, so whoever is on the caregiving team needs to be on the same page about the potty learning approach,” says Dr. Smith.
Choose an option that's flexible
“We wanted our daughter to learn in a flexible environment because we’re always on the go and needed flexibility from the start. We made it up as we went along and thwarted all the go-to rules. We started while traveling on a roadtrip and went all in at a friend’s house. Freestyle all the way.”
— Jennifer, 39, Colorado, mom of one, age 4
Tip: Fit the method to your lifestyle, not the other way around.
Combine different methods
“My husband and I liked different aspects of a few different approaches, so we chose an amalgamation of all I had read. We created a sort of hybrid approach that mixed the three-day method, positive exposure to the potty, and elimination communication. We also liked the idea of the poop fairy, who brought a gift for positive reinforcement.”
— Reshma, 40, Missouri, mom of one, age 3
Tip: While following one specific philosophy may provide a clear structure, you may find the best approach for your child is to weave together aspects of multiple methods. Rewards can also be a good motivator.
What moms wish they knew about when to potty train
Something just as important as having the necessary gear and a method picked out is thinking about when to start your potty training endeavor. From waiting out major life changes like moves or travel, to slowly introducing the idea months in advance, moms took very different paths leading up to day one.
Block your calendar in advance
“I spent about a month preparing. Three friends had successfully used the Oh Crap method, so I didn't look further than that option. I took maybe two weeks to read the book and then organize the supplies, which were mostly just pee pads and then apple juice boxes. The hardest part was scheduling out when to start since the Oh Crap method requires you to pretty much hole up at home for at least three days. We put her mini potty in the bathroom to get her used to the idea and started reading books about the subject, and she ended up taking to the idea pretty easily.”
— Leanne, 39, Maryland, mom of one, age 5
Tip: “Finding a time when you can have extended time at home with your child can be really helpful,” says Dr. Pontell. “That could mean over a work or school break, or finding a few weeks with less demands on the family calendar.”
Wait until after major life events are done
“I was excited and eager to start, but we waited until after a big move and until our daughter was 2.5 years old. We gave her kids books about potty training to help her understand and have language to describe the experience.”
— Jennifer, 39, Colorado, mom of one, age 4
Tip: Timing matters. Waiting until major life changes settle — and using books to build familiarity — can make the transition feel less overwhelming for everyone.
Use the week prior to psych yourself (and your kid) up
“We started talking about it months before (bought a few books about it, bought a potty, etc.) but really amped up the week before. We prepped my daughter a lot and tried to get her excited about it in the days leading up to the start of it. I asked friends which potties they liked best and bought a few.”
— Anna, 41, Connecticut, mom of two, ages 4.5 and 2
Tip: Long-term exposure paired with a short burst of excitement right before you start can help your child feel both familiar with — and motivated for — potty training.
What moms wish they knew about how long it would take
Even if a method promises potty training can happen in a specific training window, the process is more commonly a mix of quick wins, regressions, and gradual progress. For some kids, the skills click quickly; for others, progress comes in stages.
For most What to Expect moms, the process takes an average of four months, though about 20% said they spent six or more months. Children who are younger when they start tend to take longer to learn, and slightly older children build the skills more quickly, since they are more developmentally ready, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Here's what moms learned about how long the potty training period could take.
Prepare to give lots of prompts in the beginning
“It took about a week for her to go consistently when I prompted, timed, and paid close attention, then one more month for her to start noticing her needs herself, with me being less hands-on. We had pretty good consistency throughout. Still, it was harder than I thought it’d be. I thought I would go completely insane if I had to say ‘do you need to go potty?’ one more time. But right at my breaking point, she had a breakthrough, and I didn’t have to ask again.”
— Jennifer, 39, Colorado, mom of one, age 4
Tip: You’ll likely need to take a more hands-on or direct approach at the outset of potty-training, but teaching your child to home in on their body cues will help them recognize when they need to go without your prompting.
Give your child extra encouragement for going No. 2
“Potty training for pee happened very quickly, but poop took about 1 month to completely figure out. We ended up introducing the Poop Fairy, and that is when it all clicked. He doesn't wear a pull-up during naps, and his diaper is 90% dry when waking up, so we’ll transition to no pull-ups altogether during the next school break.”
— Reshma, 40, Missouri, mom of one, age 3
Tip: Giving your child plenty of time (without distractions), especially at the beginning, may reduce stress and help skills click faster.
Don’t get discouraged by regressions
“The main issue we had was our daughter wanting to play instead of taking potty breaks, and she would have accidents because of that. Poop ended up being its own separate training. But overall, she learned quickly, and we considered her ‘trained’ after a few months, but she did have a lot of regressions before it really stuck.”
— Yelena, 38, New York, mom of one, age 5
Tip: Even after early success, expect setbacks. Regressions don’t mean potty training failed — just that the skills are still settling in.
Remember, potty training comes with ups and downs, and that's all normal. “Your number one focus should be figuring out the best ways to support the child in front of you,” says Dr. Smith. Think about your child’s personality and how they learn best, but also think about how you teach best. What do you need to show up consistently as an effective coach during this process?” All of these considerations are important — and you (and your kid) will do great — promise.
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