For What to Expect's "What I Wish I'd Known" series, moms and dads share the wisdom they’ve gained since first becoming parents.

I was at my brother's wedding, quickly changing my baby's blow-out diaper (that had just saturated my husband's dress shirt) moments before guests were due to arrive. 

Attending weddings as a new or soon-to-be mom is joyous and wonderful: You (and sometimes your baby!) get to join in on a special celebration of some of your favorite people. You might get some nice professional portraits taken of you. And it's the perfect time to brag about how beautiful your little one is to anyone who will listen. 

It's also hard as heck. Pumping in closets? Squeezing into satin bridesmaid dresses? Wearing high heels when your body's ligaments are still rearranging themselves? Yeah, it's not for the faint of heart. But if you've grown and birthed a baby, you can totally do this. Here are some ways to make weddings easier on yourself as a postpartum mom so you can still celebrate. (You deserve it!)  

When you're having babies, you're usually going to a lot of weddings

The year I had a baby, I was also invited to five weddings. The reality is that when you're having kids, you're usually in a life stage when a lot of friends and family are getting married. Maybe you're even the one getting married! Either way, plenty of moms have stood in your (tall and uncomfortable) shoes. 

In my case, I sent my regrets to the two weddings happening the farthest away (in Canada and Italy). One was local enough that my husband and I decided it would be a good first "parents' night out." The other two? They weren't that close by — but both of my siblings were getting married, and there wasn't any way I was going to miss that.

Mom-to-mom wisdom for attending weddings postpartum

Going to a wedding as a new mom is simultaneously great (hello, cocktails!) and overwhelming (sooo much to pack). Here's what I learned in the process of attending weddings at two months, four months, and five months postpartum.  

What to bring

  • Back-up outfits for you and baby. My husband held our son for formal photos at my brother's wedding — and good thing he did. Poop shot so explosively out of my baby's diaper that it soaked through both his outfit and my husband's dress shirt. Thankfully my husband had a backup button-down and a spare onesie close by. I, on the other hand, did not have a backup $200 bridesmaid's dress, so if you're wearing something irreplaceable, wait to hold your baby until after the photos are done.
  • Alcohol test strips (if you're nursing). After abstaining from wine for nine months, I couldn't wait to toast the happy couple with a glass of Champagne. I assumed I'd have to pump and dump, but I was pleasantly surprised when I tested my milk between the reception and the afterparty and found it safe to feed my baby. 
  • Noise-cancelling headphones for your baby and a safe spot for them to hang. Wedding DJs are loud. Ear protection is a great idea so your baby can sleep right through the guests screaming the lyrics to "Mr. Brightside" from the dance floor. On that note, having a bassinet attachment for your stroller can be a godsend at a wedding and anywhere else you travel with a newborn. Older babies might benefit from a portable or clip-on highchair. 

What to wear

  • Size up for your dress. Wedding sizing already runs small, so I sized up considerably when ordering a bridesmaid's dress that I would wear two months postpartum. Good thing I did — I found that my rib cage was still wider than it had been earlier in pregnancy when I bought the dress. It's always easier to get a dress taken in versus let out because a seamstress or tailor will have more to work with (versus trying to add fabric where there isn't enough). 
  • Choose, if you can, something that's feeding-friendly. My genius cousin, also a new mom, wore a loose dress that fit over wearable pumps — she pumped right during the dinner with a chic sweater on top and no one could tell. Bridesmaid dresses are a little trickier. If you have a choice, look for fabrics that might be more forgiving to leaky bottles or boobs (e.g., not satin) and cuts that won't involve getting partially undressed to pump or feed. 
  • Bring flats. I took nine months off from wearing high heels, and I was well aware I wouldn't be ready to stand in them for eight hours straight. That's why I'm oh-so-glad I brought comfy sandals for dancing at each reception.

What to do

  • Try to get a schedule of the day ahead of time. If you're nursing or pumping, it'll help you figure out when to fit in feedings or pump sessions (i.e., there's a 30-minute gap between when I get my hair done and when I need to be ready for photos … ) 
  • Figure out milk storage. If you're planning to pump during the wedding weekend, call the hotel or reception venue and ask if mini fridges are available. In a pinch, you can also bring a cooler with ice packs. You can safely store freshly pumped milk in a cooler for 24 hours, in the fridge for up to four days, or in a freezer for up to 12 months.
  • ID friends and family who are willing to help. Ahead of time, think about who'll be in attendance and who you trust to help out. Maybe your aunt loves babies and will happily cuddle yours while you go to the bathroom. Or do you have a friend nearby who's not attending and can swoop in and pick up the baby at bedtime? Professional or on-site babysitters might be available too. You could have more options than you think. 
  • Enjoy yourself. You spent nine months abstaining from alcohol, avoiding favorite foods, and feeling bloated. Take a minute to recognize that, tonight, you can enjoy the drinks, charcuterie, and the chance to dress up. 

Attending three weddings after just having a baby wasn't easy, but it was really memorable. I'll always look back on those nights and think how special it was that I got to support my friends and family — and how nice it was to let loose after weeks of diaper-changing bootcamp.